REPOSTED FROM THE SUBSTACK OF AUTHOR LISA LEE CURTIS

I wrote an article for a previous incarnation of my blog in March of 2017 after a young, white, privileged male (I know, I’m being redundant) was let off the hook for a vile assault against another human being.

Former high school football player John R. K. Howard had forcibly inserted a coat hanger into the rectum of a disabled black teammate, a young man from the only Black family in his Idaho town.

It was also decided that being sodomized with a coat hanger did not constitute a sex crime. Certainly not. It wasn’t sexual when Howard kicked the hanger into his victim’s anus.

Sexual assault is never sexual, but I digress: This was absolutely sexual assault.

The judge in this particular case discounted the testimony of racist remarks toward the victim, concluding that the assault was not racially motivated, so it also wasn’t a hate crime.

Of course. Of course he decided this.

Howard entered a so-called “Alford plea,” meaning that he maintains his innocence while admitting a judge or jury would likely find him guilty – which is goddamn ridiculous in my opinion.

He was sentenced to probation and community service, and his conviction might be entirely dismissed at a later date.

I’m updating this because, YET AGAIN, an absolutely vomit-inducing headline has jumped out at me, just another day when we have signaled to men that they can rape with impunity. ESPECIALLY if the judge on your case sees a little something special in their eyes. If they see a bit of themselves in that young, white rapist.

Medical student guilty of rape walks free because of ‘career potential and youth’

Ah, youth.

You see what happened is, back in November of 2023, the victim was at a Halloween party. She became disoriented and less aware of her surroundings. Her attorney told the court that “she stumbled and was unable to stand up on her own two feet.” and “needed support to prevent her from falling down.”

He pretended to offer help, but then, oopsie, he brought her back to his room and raped her instead.
What’s fantastic about this story is that literally none of the news sources revealed his name. I mean, right? We don’t want this “stain” to follow him, let’s just keep this under wraps, please and thanks.

But since real heroes don’t wear capes, people where like “Yeah, NOPE” about keeping this “fine young man” anonymous who “only made a mistake” and that we “shouldn’t damage his future,” and I was able to ascertain that this particular rapist is none other than Ruben Vanstiphout.

And yes, you’re reading this right: Sweet baby angel Ruben is in school to be a gynecologist.

A fucking gynecologist.

He has been in medical school, training for a profession where he will have direct access to the genitals of women all day/every day. What a DREAM!

Fortunately for Rubes here, the judge truly understands that this young man just made a terrible mistake.

“It is undeniable that he crossed the line of what is acceptable, but he is still young.”

He went on to say that if this promising young doctor is jailed, my god, y’all, he might find it difficult to get a job as a gynecologist.

OH GOSH, I’M SORRY Y’ALL, DID I SAY “HE?”

I assumed that the judge on this case was a man for all the fucking reasons but now I’m reading that judge on this case was a woman. I just mentioned this to my partner, and he shook his head in disbelief as he walked to the kitchen.

“I’m not sure if this is worse, or . . .”

I yelled back from my office.

“Well, it certainly isn’t fucking better!”

If the judge is, in fact, a woman (I have yet to find her name online), all I can say is that, if she were in the United States, she’d likely be sitting down right now drinking mimosas at the country club with Marjorie Taylor Greene or Kristi Noem or someone of equal reprehensible quality just having a good ol’ laugh, joining forces to compile a list of contacts so that this quality gentleman might skip the rest of his medical training altogether and run for public office.

I don’t know if women like this see their sons or their future or what the actual fuck, but there’s a level of betrayal that hits different when it’s women who enable rapists to continue on to ruin more women’s lives. Who protect rapists so that they can rape with impunity.

With men, I’m sorry, but I’m no longer surprised. Ever.

Hashtag not all men, yes, great, but I’m fucking exhausted.

With women? I’m not surprised so much as I am just weary.

And the male judges who excuse pretty, rich, white young men like J.K. Howard, or like Brock Turner, the “Stanford Swimming Star” who raped an unconscious girl behind a dumpster, or like Austin Wilkerson (basically a non-swimming Brock) are doing so for the following reason:

They see a younger version of themselves these attackers.

And many of these judges will outright say that is the case.

“I see a lot of myself in you, son.”

And they’ll wax poetic about how these poor boys should be given a chance to do great things with their lives, regardless of what they have stolen from another life, which is not quantifiable whatsoever, other than it ROBS you of what you thought your life was before the attack.

“Why destroy this young man’s future?” they will say, completely shifting responsibility from the r*pist.

“Why waste this potential?”

“We would be robbing society of all their gifts. They can learn from this if we just give them a chance.”

“What about their futures?”

This should disgust you, and it should terrify you, knowing that this kind of apologist bullshit has been happening as long as humanity – and I use that term loosely in this case – has existed. And we are continuing to allow it to happen.

If this doesn’t disgust you, I need to know because I need you on a goddamn list.

And while non-white offenders, guilty of the same crimes will be imprisoned – rightfully so, if you’re this type of monster – with harsh sentences, and non-white people guilty of even the most minor of infractions continue to be incarcerated with sentences not equal to their offenses…

Young, white rapists with names like John H.K. Howard, Brock Turner, Austin Wilkerson – they will be coddled, comforted even because, you know, this “happened to them, too”, then slapped on the wrist and turned loose to live their lives unfettered.

Men like Ruben Vanstiphout will be applauded for at least “not finishing” inside the body of his victim – yes really, y’all, he was just “too tired” – and sent back to become all that he can be.

Why would we prevent this golden boy from reaching his potential?

“We can’t expect this boy to have behaved any differently. There was alcohol involved, first of all. And, really, what was the victim doing that provoked him in the first place? Men don’t just rape, and if you think about it, this rapist is also a victim of these unfortunate circumstances.”

And these boys’ families and friends and the congregation of the church they began attending after the arrest, they will all come to his defense, telling stories of all the fantastic things the young white rapist has done, how this young man always been there for them, by gosh, what a guy, and how it would be a tragic injustice for them to be sent to prison for even a DAY.

You see, they’re not like the “others,” the REAL criminals who belong in prison, oh no. They can do so much more to show what a model human being they are within the loving arms of their peers.

It’s just terrible that this has happened to them.

The ever famous “boys will be boys” attitude that reinforces disrespectful, harmful behavior as acceptable is irresponsible and largely to blame for this all-too-common slap in the face to the injured parties in these cases, and the subsequent cases that occur while these young, white rapists are allowed to ‘get on with their life’ and likely reoffend, now armed with the knowledge that they can, in fact, get away with sexual assault.

How do we stop it?

I mean I personally love the phrase, “Dead men don’t rape.”

But we, as parents, need to be proactive, to teach our children that they and they alone are accountable when they choose to harm someone. There has GOT to be consequences when our little angels harm another human being. Accidents happen, yes, obviously, but we have to do our due diligence to watch for patterns of behavior.

We, as school faculty, need to be on the lookout for this behavior in our classrooms starting in elementary school and address it. I know that schools are woefully understaffed and underappreciated, but there’s no excuse for looking the other way when you see a child harm another child or when you notice a pattern of predatory and/or violent behavior developing.

We need to hold the offending child responsible and stop placing blame on an article of clothing, a visible collarbone, a victim’s proximity to his or her attacker. Anyone can be a victim of the crime of bodily violation. Anyone. Not just your daughters if you think you’re “off the hook” here, as let’s circle back to the first case mentioned in this article.

And this entitled behavior starts rearing its head at an early age.

It festers when unchecked.

And as a community, we need to start vetting the people who we put into power a whole lot better. We vote for judges. They are elected officials.

We do not WANT our judges to see themselves in that fresh faced young rapist.

Until people stop showing compassion for the wrong damn person in the crime that has occurred, until we stop seeing rapists as victims in and of themselves, we are going to continue wondering what on earth it’s going to take to keep our family members, our children, and our friends safe from fresh-faced, white rapists with fantastic potential.